Painful

It's been a string of sleepless nights for more than a week now – and Finn isn't even the problem. (He even slept from 9 until 3:30 the other night; I woke him to feed him because I feared my chest might explode. Ah, the world is balancing itself out after we had Lily.)

Anyway, last, last Monday, I was overly tired and I had a sore throat. I fed Finn around midnight and then it all went to hell. Two hours of intense chills, so much so that my teeth chattered and my whole body vibrated while I cried because everything hurt and all I wanted to do was sleep. I gave in and shook my way towards the bathroom. A scalding hot tub only worked for the parts of my body in the water; even after I got out I was still absolutely freezing. I had Chris take Finn downstairs because I was disturbing him, yet I couldn't take care of him at all. The following two hours (and many Advil later), I was burning up with a fever. I slept in fifteen minute intervals because I had to check on Chris on Finn to make sure they were still alive. (Okay, so I can't sleep without Finn. It was the same way with Lily. Should only take a couple years to get over that motherly protective thing...)

Anyway, at 4:45 I was feeling "well enough" (read: guilty that Chris wasn't sleeping) to take Finn downstairs to sleep with him on the couch so Chris could get a couple hours sleep before he had to go off to work. Of course, within 15 minutes, I could hear the pitter patter of little feet coming down the stairs. Lily, who noticed I was missing, came down, got a blanket and fell asleep beside us until 7 a.m. I kept asking her to run upstairs to wake up her dad, but she was stubborn and I was too weak. Finally at 7:45, I dragged my butt upstairs and got him up fifteen minutes before he was supposed to be there.

Luckily, Nana came over at 9 and took Lily out all morning so Finn and I could sleep, which we did until 11:45. By this point, I'd figured out I had mastitis in my right boob because it was sore and visibly red and hot. Didn't you want to hear about my breastfeeding woes? ('Cause I kinda want to talk about them...)

And all I could think about was how was I ever going to be ready to leave for Winnipeg the next morning...and how disappointed we all would be if we didn't go. Oh, and did I mention Chris was supposed to go to Saskatoon that evening for the Iron Maiden concert? Well, that didn't happen as Chris decided to cancel on his buddies; and thankfully, too, because I really needed help with the kids, to rest and to pack.

So, feeling heavy-headed and sore all over, I persevered and we left the house the next morning at 8 a.m. And for the four days in Winnipeg, I felt fine for the most part. Tired, more than usual, but fine. Until we got home and the last three nights I've been awake for two to three hours in the middle of each night with deep, throbbing chest pain. Nice, I know. It happens during the day, too, when I feed on the right side but it's easier to deal with during the day because I'm not laying there trying to sleep. We're busy. From what I've read, it sounds like thrush and with my doctor out of town for two weeks, I'll have to try and squeeze in time to hit the walk-in clinic. Not that there are any quick fixes and this pain seems to be unaffected by ridiculous amounts of Advil and Tylenol at the same time. I have great sympathy for those poor chronic pain sufferers...

Anyway, just glad I got that off my chest.