Thursday, April 17, 2008

Little big girl

When you were born, you cried. But I held you and fed you and you were comforted. When we put you in the car seat, you cried. And I panicked with that motherly instinct that made me hysterical that I couldn't pick you up and comfort you. But we'd get to our destination, I'd take your car seat out of the car and you'd still cry. I'd put you in the shopping cart and you'd cry. I'd finally scoop you out of your apparent prison and you'd be comforted. (And if you weren't crying, you were shooting poop out your diaper every hour or so, but that's another story.) We'd go for walks in your stroller and you'd cry. I'd carry you in one arm and push the stroller home with the other. When you were tired and wanted to sleep, you'd howl. But I'd nurse you and you'd calm enough to sleep - for at least twenty minutes without waking to see if I was there.

But I got a little smarter as the months went on. I attached you to my body with a carrier or a body wrap and you were fine. But only with your mommy. And it was impossible to leave you with anyone else. Needless to say, it was always a challenge to get anything done or go anywhere, down the street or to the grocery store. So we rarely did. The stress could be overwhelming.

Fast forward to about a month ago. You are now the little girl who doesn't scream when she goes into her car seat. You are now the little girl who is perfectly content to ride in her wagon for up to an hour. You are now the little girl who will lay down and go to sleep when you are tired - without crying. You are even the little girl who rides in the cart at the grocery store.

Honestly, once I accepted your high-needs, high-intensity nature, I never expected it to change. Ever. But it's kind of nice having a little girl who's gotten some independence and taken it down a notch. And a lot less tiring.

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