Friday, August 15, 2008

A deep, extreme love

Tonight and last night were kinda the same. Last night I had a hair cut scheduled for 7:45. I was hoping you'd already be asleep but of course you weren't. After begging for five minutes to come with me, you settled for quietly sobbing and saying, "I just wait here by the door 'til you get home." Fortunately last night you did go to sleep.

Tonight, however was a different story.

I had my very last SGI youth conference today ('cause next year I'm not considered youth anymore); it was also my last day of 'work' before three weeks of holidays. I'd taken you to the babysitter around 9:30 and picked you up by four and even though it was a short day away, you were crushed that Dad and I were going out again for the supper and party portion of the conference. We'd picked up supper for you and Nana, but by the time we wanted to leave around 5:45 you were hysterical, pleading to come. "I bigger now. I can come to work!" We drove away watching you scream at the door, distraught as though you'd never see us again.

Usually within ten minutes you calm and can carry on, but tonight you just sat in the window waiting for us to come home. Until 8:30. "I waiting for Mom to come home." Then when Nana finally convinced you to maybe go and watch some t.v., you watched a couple shows then hit the sack where you read stories until falling asleep in your clothes. "Mommy will put my pajamas on me."

I think you've had it. You need me to have a holiday and stay home with you just as much as I need one. Except it seems you might need it a little more than me.

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